Living with secondary breast cancer, Lita is thriving and wants to use her experience to help women just like her

I would like to share my story as a breast cancer survivor and help women on their cancer journey by telling them about my experience. How I beat cancer, how I coped and how I am now living with secondary breast cancer.

In 2008, when I was 49, I started to experience pain in my left breast. I visited my GP for a checkup, and she examined me, but could not be sure if there was anything suspicious, and referred me to the Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton. They did a mammogram, followed by a biopsy and asked me to come back in a week for my results.

Accompanied by my partner, I went back to the hospital expecting good news. Instead, they told me that I had breast cancer! My whole world fell apart. I felt absolutely devastated, shocked, angry and scared and kept asking myself “why me, what have I done to deserve this?” I didn’t want to talk about it or consider the next steps.

I was persuaded by the hospital team that surgery was my best option. In medical terms, I had breast cancer ER positive, PR positive and HER2 positive Grade III invasive ductal carcinoma. I had a mastectomy of the left breast, at the Royal Marsden in Sutton in July, just before my 50th birthday.

During the operation, they found that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and had to extract 21 out of 24 lymph nodes. I felt like I had been butchered, was in considerable pain and considered myself only half a woman when it was over. Thoughts kept going around in my head that my partner would leave me, that I was a freak and that I would be all alone to face the next part of my journey!

I was sent home to rest and recuperate, with a drain and a very large supply of painkillers. A month after the operation, I underwent extensive chemotherapy, administered intravenously every 3 weeks at the Royal Marsden. The drug they used was called FEC. This made me feel extremely ill, so I could not work for 6 months.

During this treatment, I felt very lethargic, sick and constipated. I couldn’t really taste food and had a very sore mouth. I also lost a lot of weight, lost all my hair, needed a wig and headscarves, and felt like s**t! It was the worst ever experience of my entire life, as the chemo targeted the good cells as well as the bad. This was followed by a month of radiotherapy, which was not so bad.

My partner, his family and a few friends were incredibly supportive throughout my ordeal. Believe it or not, I was very positive throughout my treatment and celebrated every milestone. My partner and I vowed to beat this “b*****d” cancer together. The doctors and nurses at the Royal Marsden Hospital were exceptionally good, and I had some counselling after such a traumatic experience.

At least I was alive, after my worst nightmare, but a lot of women don’t make it. Unfortunately, after an MRI scan, they found that a tiny bit of cancer had spread to my spine and I was forced to live with secondary breast cancer and continue to have treatment for that even now.

I asked myself “where do I go from here?”, as after the cancer treatment, I was experiencing an acute lack of confidence, very low self-esteem and felt very uncomfortable when looking at my body. When I went on holiday and wore my bikini, I had to wear a prosthesis to replace my left breast. I felt very self-conscious and thought people were looking at me and laughing! I could never use communal changing rooms, for fear of being ridiculed, and always had to hide in the toilets to get changed. Low-cut tops or dresses were a no-no!

With the help of coaching, I found self-love, resilience, learned to appreciate the fact that I was still around and be grateful for what I had. I learned to reprogramme my mindset to think differently. The realisation that negative thoughts lead to an unfulfilling life is a game changer. I discovered that my partner and other people loved me just the way I was. I started to love and respect my body and this made me realise what an amazing human being I was. Slowly, I realised my passions and what made me feel alive!

I kept asking the hospital for reconstructive surgery, but each time they said ‘no’! Eight years later, in March 2016, I was finally given the go-ahead for my reconstructive surgery. This procedure was called DIEP flap. It was quite a long, complicated operation and my new breast was made out of my tummy fat. I had 2 months off work and was in a lot of pain while waiting for both areas to heal. There was no stopping me after that, as I felt like a new woman and was complete at last. My confidence soared, my self-esteem rocketed and I felt truly empowered. It totally changed my life!

I was having a lot of pain in my legs and went for an MRI scan in April 2020. Before I could get the results, I had a fall in my house and was in absolute agony! The ambulance came and I told them about what I had been through with regard to my cancer. They had to give me morphine to ease the pain. As well as Herceptin, I was also on a bone-strengthening drug.

I was taken to St George’s Hospital in Tooting, where they operated on me and found that I had fractured both femurs. I had a metal pin inserted into each leg and these were held in place with screws. Apparently, the bone-strengthening drug had made my bones weaker so that is why I fell. I couldn’t believe it! Covid was rife, but I had to spend two weeks in St George’s.

I came home with a Zimmer frame and walking sticks, so I could learn to walk again. The hospital told me it would take 2 years before I could walk properly again. With exercises, sheer determination and the desire to succeed I learnt to walk properly within 5 months and was driving again within 8 months. My husband’s family called me an inspiration and praised me for my perseverance.

I married my long-term partner, after 20 years together, in 2021, and I am the happiest I have ever been in years. Despite living with secondary breast cancer, life is treating me very well now. I have a busy social life, enjoy my holidays, have attended a couple of photography workshops and joined a couple of local groups – Epsom Speakers Club and the WI. Also, I am enjoying my retirement.

It is for this reason that I decided I wanted to help professional women to change and improve their lives, after undergoing such a traumatic experience. I always remained positive throughout my ordeal and would like to channel this positivity to others in the same situation.

I am a fully ACPPH-accredited transformational coach, a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner and a Hypnotherapist. I am ready to make life happier, easier and better for all concerned according to individual needs and goals.

You can find out more about Lita’s life coaching and download a free e-book ‘How to Stand Up to Breast Cancer’ on her website.